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Posts Tagged ‘change’

Change is Uncomfortable

The one phrase that everyone keeps telling me is change is uncomfortable. Indeed it is.

Tonight I did something that was very new and uncomfortable for me. A few weeks ago, I had searched the local meetup.com groups trying to find a way for me to get out and meet new people. One of the groups I discovered was a wanna be gourmet cooking group that sounded like a good possibility… so I joined. In searching their webpage, the members all looked like regular people and their bios sounded a lot like me…. new in town, no longer married or just a lover of good food. I took the plunge and committed myself to something very foreign to me, attending an event alone.

You see, I am actually rather introverted. I have a tendency to gravitate toward people who are outgoing and wear their personality on their sleeve. Friends who have known me for a while find the description of me as introverted to be somewhat puzzling. But in reality, what they are missing is… I think I am like a chameleon. I seem to have the tendency to take on the energy of the people around me. When I’m with my more cerebral friends, I’m thoughtful and love to talk about deep and complicated subjects. When I’m with my fun loving friends, I can be funny and daring. When I feel safe with my friends, I can open up and be what the energy calls me to be. So walking into a kitchen full of complete strangers was a huge step for me. I had no idea what these people were like other than they liked food too.

I‘ve been used to having cover in a new situation. My former husband is an extrovert and can talk to anyone. So for years, I had someone to run interference, giving me time to take a people pulse and slowly make my presence felt. Now I feel naked, no place to hide to read the room.

Since I am writing this, you can see that I survived. And I do have to admit, it was a pleasant evening. The food was great and as the dinner progressed through the various courses, I learned little bits and pieces about those I was sharing a meal with. There was a little anxiety before ringing the doorbell and I almost turned around at one point. But I’m glad I stayed and I actually think I might do it again.

So I am going to put this one in the win column… uncomfortable yes, but a little thrilling too. And most importantly, it is another step forward in finding my way alone. And with that, I think I can call it day.

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